All About Boobs
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You've seen them around. They're used to get free drinks, jobs, and attention from your boyfriend. They come in many shapes and sizes and no two pairs are alike - that's right, I'm talking about your boobs.
I know you probably think you know everything about your breasts there is to know, but you're wrong. Let's start out with nipples.
There are several different styles of nipples. There are nipple sizes all the way from pencil-top erasers to sand dollar. There are inverted nipples, flat nipples and pierced nipples, there are even people with superflu ous nipples. You know how much fun you have with two nipples? Imagine having an extra!
Nipples are just part of the fun, so let's move on to the actual breast. Did you know there are four basic sizes of boob? It's true!
Barely There (AAA-A) - Women who've never made it out of the training bra stage, most common on jcrew models, heroin addicts and thirteen year old boys.
Handful (B-C) - "average" breast size, this is the size that most lingerie companies cater to. Most common on Victoria's Secret models and Andy Pressman.
Cup Runneth Over (D-DD) - Finding bras in this size starts getting tough. You can go with the traditional classic bra that your grandma favors, or you could.. well, let's face it. You don't really have much choice. Most commonly seen on girls on the internet.
Woah Mama (E-ZZZ) - Breasts of monsterous proportions. Twice the size of your head, back breaking and hunch forming, you need a shopping cart to carry these things around. Most commonly seen on the Jerry Springer Show.
So which is the preferred breast size? I quote a male friend and say, "There is no such thing as a bad boob!" Large or small, men don't care! You know why? Because they're boobs! And there's nothing they love more than breasts.
Andrea Spencer has boobs.