Filler Friday: Compelling Content
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I came online tonight to face several people messaging me, begging me to save uber and take on the responsibility of Contentless Filler Friday. I agreed, but am at a loss about what to write.
benbrown: It's contentless filler Friday! It doesn't even have to be good, it can be crap! Those dummies won't know the difference!
whackfunk: I'm good at crap!
I could write about my irritable bowels which have been giving me trouble all night, or how Adam looks like Jesus, or how our editor doesn't spell-chek. I could write a three thousand word essay explaining that in yesterday's linked picture I was just taking off my shoe.
None of these things seemed good enough, so I thought more.
In the shower I thought I could write about the smell clashing of my shampoo and my bodywash and how they both clash with my lotion. I could write about the little balls of fuzz that somehow gather on towels when you don't wash them for a few weeks.
As I sat in the Burger King "drive thru" for twenty minutes I thought I could write something ironic about having to park in the DRIVE THROUGH. But that's been done enough, it's cliche.
I could write about the boxes of paperclips my co-workers have been leaving on my desk every day for the past two week. I'm up to thirteen boxes.
Adam looks like Jesus. Have I mentioned that?
benbrown: Are you done yet?
whackfunk: Give me a minute! A good crap takes some time.
New Uber Bios:
Andrea Spencer spends all of her free time watching reruns of Matlock and Little House on the Prairie. She runs a goat farm from her basement and is incredibly good looking. Much more so than Andy.
Andy Pressman and his messy life suck. He designed this, you can tell because all of his designs look alike.
Ben Brown is a monkey.
Anne Sussman is old and bitter and will probably die alone. I think she's a housekeeper or something.
Adam Mathes - Pocket Jesus.
mathes: I smell bad.
whackfunk: I agree.
Alright, I think this is long and contentless enough. I'm turning it in, and if you're reading it it's only because Ben is drunk and Adam is lazy.
Andrea Spencer loves her co-uber peeps. Even Andy, who is much less good looking than she is.