Choose Or Lose
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It was almost dusk when the MTV Choose or Lose bus rolled into town, kicking up gravel and political apathy from beneath its mighty treads. The sides of the vehicle bore a gorgeous airbrushed mural of modern defenders of democracy (Coolio, Dave Grohl, Mandy Moore), as well as perfectly tinted windows, in which we saw the reflections of our own doom.
Johnny tried to dash across the street (his Impala was parked in front of the library), but he was slow and got caught beneath the bus's frame. It continued on, oblivious, cornering us against the doors of City Hall; ironic, I later thought. We tried the doors, but they were locked. It was Sunday, and our local representatives were elsewhere.
The bus pulled up alongside City Hall and stopped, dramatically, as if to gloat. The doors slid open and, amidst the sterile hum of air conditioning, their leader stepped out. She was slender and short, with pinched cheeks and a cute bob cut. She was an Ice Queen among us.
"Choose or lose," said Tabitha Soren, and we all complied.
You may look at me with scorn, but I challenge each of you to ponder what you would have done were you in our position. We were deer and she was a lion, out for blood. We were just kids; she was MTV.
Besides, how could we have resisted? They had bottle openers, and they had frisbees, and they had special speakers like Eve6. There was a rumor going around that Al Gore would get a celebrity makeover sometime on Sunday, but that proved to be false, and it was only Dick Cheney.
They left as quickly as they had arrived, and with even less fanfare. Just packed up and vanished, off along Interstate 50 to help yet another small, under-politicized town.
I suppose the question you're wondering is: did it make a difference? Will you vote?
Goddamn right we'll vote.
Andy Pressman is really late for deadlines.