Filler Friday: Please Leave Me Alone
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This week Plastic launched, the first new site from automatic media, you know, the suck and feed guys.
It's Slashdot, except the editors are people who spend their lives reading Salon articles and writing unreadable garbage at gamers.com and nerve. So instead of irrelevant linux geek news pointers with dorky idiotic commentary, it's irrelevant media geek news pointers with smart-ass idiotic commentary.
Thrilling, I know.
We here at Über planned to deal with this the same way we deal with everything else: ignore it and hope it goes away.
At least, that was what I was planning on doing.
But even I may not be able to escape the effects of this Joey Anuff's latest horror.
Plastic manages to combine two things that I hate: weblogs and interaction with a community of readers, two things Über stands firmly against.
Although all that may change.
Unfortunately, our fearless leader and editor Ben Brown has not only changed our formerly rigorous and angry submission policy to one that seems to actually encourage submissions, but is also warming to the idea of a "discussion board" where the staff would "interact" with you, the readers of this fine fine piece of webzine.
Although I was much happier with our asshole "if it hasn't been rejected my McSweeney's, we won't touch it" policy, I can understand the rationale for a more lenient, open submissions policy. (That rationale of course being the more submitted pieces we publish, the less we have to write ourselves, the more we can drink ourselves into a stupor on weeknights.)
Hell, I don't even read Über, so I don't really care what we publish.
A discussion board, however, would be a disaster. I'm oh so painfully aware of the intellectual capacity of most of our readers. Let's face it: you guys are dumb.
Not just slow, or not brilliant, I mean dumb as a pile of bricks. Completely devoid of any mental abilities. I would not want to be forced to have a conversation with you people, virtual or otherwise.
If the vast wasteland that is the ben brown discussion is any indication of the quality we can expect on an Über discussion board, I'd like to already go on record as saying this is a really, really bad idea.
Knowing how much my opinion counts around here, we can probably expect discussion boards to launch sometime next week. Well, knowing Ben, maybe next month. Next year, actually. Maybe. It's at least possible.
Also, fart.jpg.
That reminds me, Andrea has yet to even write a single article this year. I think it's time we start auditioning a replacement token female on the staff.
Requirements to be Über's new token female:
- female
- short
- has breasts
- is willing to write about boobs and lesbians
Also, having purple hair would help too. Please send inquiries to me. Actually, don't, I'll probably just ignore them. I hate you guys.
Adam Mathes is really running out of ideas
Adam Mathes is really running out of ideas