Reasons Oranges Are The Best Fruit
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- They never bitch or nag, but they have been known to whine.
- Every year all the oranges are given a sneak peak at the winners of the Nobel prizes, Grammys, Golden Globe and TV Guide awards. Of course, the Academy awards are run by friends of the apple mafia.
- They are like a little present. You unwrap them and eat the treat inside.
- Spheres are cool.
- If you find youself stuck in a snowstorm you can cut it open and curl up inside it for warmth, like Mark Hamill in the Empire Strikes Back.
- They keep you regular.
- They make a satisfying *squish* sound against the side of your bosses head from 10-15 feet.
- People in Japan pay a lot of money for them.
- You can hide drugs in them. Border guards never suspect the guy with an orange.
- Vitamin c prevents colds.
- An orange will never turn its back on you. It doesn't have one.
- The bright orange color makes simple people happy.
- If you find yourself with one while bored at work, you can set up some of those little paper cuppies from the water cooler and start bowling.
- Oranges never have to worry about priapism.
- That weird taste you get in your mouth after you brush your teeth and eat an orange: that's the orange juice attacking the commie flouride.
- They prevent cancer, so say orange grower commercials.
- Every person you have ever looked up to or admired, every one of your heroes has at one time in their life eaten an orange.
- The peelings provide an cheap alternative to leather body armour for light skirmishes.
- Nothing bad ever comes out of comes out of Florida.
- Worms don't take bites out of them.
- I'm sure they are mentioned somewhere in the Bible. You on the other hand, are not.
Will Pate feels inferior to what he eats.