Special Offer!
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by Ben Brown | originally published on 2001-03-08

For a very limited time, Über is prepared to offer you an exciting deal! We, as creators and aggregators of content on the Internet, are willing to offer you access to our wide collection of "funny" essays and "confusing" lists.

After paying a small fee, you will have access to one times as many essays as you do today! That's all of our essays! That's 100% what you've got today! 100%! What a deal!

Don't be fooled by other offers for 80% or even 75% of what you already have. Oddly phrased and vaguely worded legalese confuses the best of us. But don't worry! Über isn't trying to bilk you out of your money any more than we always have! And that's a guarantee!

So, send us your checks, your money orders, your cold hard cash. For 4 small payments of $29.95 US, you can tap into the Über lifestyle! Be as better than people as you've ever been!

Ben Brown is a bargain machine!