This Is Not An All-Inclusive List Of Things I've Stolen From Past Employers
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1) Countless buckets of fast food chicken, handed out to friends through the Popeye's drive-thru window, in addition to the Cole Slaw and Mashed Pototatos w/ Brown Gravy I distributed nightly to homeless people who waited in line with other customers until they reached the cash register and then asked in a low tone for something to eat for free.
2) $20 dollars from a customer's credit card whose number I re-ran through the register once the customer had left my place of employment. I think this constitutes Fraud.
3) Spicy Italian Meatball Sandwich on Crusty French Bread, w/ Side Salad.
4) Many, many Dr. Peppers from the soft drink fountain.
5) Brown paper towels, toilet paper, rubber squeegee, glass cleaner w/ ammonia, "greeny" scouring pads.
6) Retractable black ink pen.
7) Individually wrapped frozen lemon cream pie w/ graham cracker crust.
8) 1 "Leatherman" Multi-Tool, 1 "Gerber" Multi-Tool, 1 "Leatherman Micra" Multi-Tool, 1 "Camper" Swiss Army Knife, 1 "Esquire" Swiss Army Knife, 1 "Leatherman Super-Tool" Multi-Tool, 1 "Leatherman Mini" Multi-Tool.
9) "Don't Turn Around" Compact Disc Single by Ace of Base
10) 25 essays on the subject of "Basic Cellular Division," graded and carefully edited but never returned to students.
James Stegall probably steals from the military as well