A Baker's Dozen Haikus
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I. A Definition of Haiku
First line: five syl'bles.
Second line: seven syl'bles.
Third line: five syl'bles.
II. My Methods
None of these haikus
Were composed by me in more
Than two 'n' half minutes.
III. How I Feel About Finals Week
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I hate finals week.
IV. Microsoft Windows 98
Die blue screen of death!
O, for a stable OS.
Control, Alt, Delete.
V. The Modern Things
Cars weren't invented,
They were found in a mountain.
You can just ask Björk.
VI. A Haiku for Arlene (made up on the spot, at her request)
Arlene is way cool.
Arlene has red hair, glasses.
Arlene is way cool.
VII. Literary Devices
This haiku uses
Enjambments. Metaphor is
A drunken Ben Brown.
VIII. Seven Filthy Words
George Carlin's Radio:
Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker
Motherfucker, Tits.
IX-XII.
Nine through twelve exist
Mentally, inside my head.
So you can't see them.
XIII. Why A Baker's Dozen?
Thirteen is lucky.
Prime number. Fibonacci.
Doughnuts are tasty.
Aaron Suggs doesn't know what a drunken Ben Brown is like