SOME TIPS FOR NEW ZEALANDERS VISITING AMERICA.
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1) If you meet two guys, don't ask them how long they've been mates.
2) Always ask for an eraser, not a rubber.
3) Practise saying "candy", "cookies", and "quarters", until you no longer feel silly saying them.
4) If someone asks if they can use the bathroom, don't say "Why? Do you want to have a bath?"
5) If you have the option of putting a substance called "non-dairy creamer" in your coffee - DON'T! It's a kind of flour.
6) Pretend you're from Britain, Australia, South Africa, Holland - anywhere. Americans can't tell the difference. And they don't care. And it gets really boring explaining where New Zealand is.
7) A Kiwi smoothie is not a sleazy New Zealand pimp, oran endangered bird in a blender. It's a drink made from Kiwifruit.
8) If you are offered Cheerios, don't ask for tomato sauce with them.
9) Try not to laugh hysterically whenever anyone says how great any American president is/was.
10) It's probably not wise to do your "hilarious" imitation homie-speak in some areas.
11) They think meat pies are funny.
Katie Brockie knows the secret truth about Americans