EBooks Are Trendy
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Being a smart young man about the web I looked around for a trend. It would have to be a trend that nobody else did and that wasn't cool yet. There seemed only one option, ebooks. Everybody hates ebooks, 'real', fanatical readers prefer paper and mock them relentlessly; those who don't like reading, don't like reading and mock reading (and by extension ebooks) relentlessly.
One thing I was sure of was being relentlessly mocked. Yet I was up for that, the real beauty of being a smart young hepcat about the web is being mocked, staying with the trend and then laughing mordantly from behind your fourth chai when everybody else catches on. I'd missed blogs, I'd missed AYBABTU, I'd even missed Über, the web publishing phenomenon, I was determined not to miss ebooks.
Having decided on my target I needed a plan, so like the smart, swish kinda guy that I am I went to the man with a plan, Jeff Bezos (or at least his website):
"Jeff", I said, "give me some sweet ebook loving for I am not afraid to be different"
"Nick", Jeff replied, "get thee to our ebooks department, home of non paper based reading"
"nice one Jeffy baby" I exclaimed in an all too Will Smith like way.
So to the ebook department I went. Here follows my short guide to ebooks culled from 10 minutes looking at the website and a couple of downloads:
1. You need an ebook reader, today's modern ebook scoffs at your plain text. Adobe Acrobat is where it's at.
2. These ebook readers (a bit like your eyes) are free. The books cost. If someone tries to make you pay for an ebook reader check they don't call you 'd00d', use such standard English as 'l33t', or 'send you this ebbok in to ask your advice'.
3. Don't get the Microsoft reader. It's pants. Literally constructed from Bill Gates' castoff underwear. Not a pleasent sight I can assure you. Interestingly he shops at the Gap.
4. Ebooks vary in cost. Really good books like Madame Bovery are free. Quite good eBooks, like David Foster Wallace's "Up, Simba! 7 Days on the Trail of an Anticandidate" are about £3, really bad books such as "Jack: The Jack Welch Jack AutobiograJack, Straight From the Jack" cost about £50.
5. This last point is a sort of Darwin Awards for books and a natural evolutionary counterbalance. Look for humerous stroys of flightly ebooks strapping themselves to chairs and flying with the aid of some helium baloons any day now.
6. You can't take your book anywhere with you. This sucks. Print it out onto paper at 5p per sheet. The revolution starts with you!
There ends my ebook knowledge. As far as I know this makes me the world authority on ebooks so I think I've got enough to be ahead of the curve, above the wave, and before the storm. Ebooks are going to be hot baby. And I'm the king!
Nick Richards is Uber's Research Associate