Web Of Tragedy
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A terrible thing has happened. Über has become too successful, too influential, too ground-breakingly-great for its own good. We've succeeded ourselves into obsolescence.
In the past few weeks, a lot of major news outlets have written articles about Adam Mathes' Google Bombing article. Why? We do not know. Google Bombing, essentially the equivalent of a schoolyard bully telling everyone to call you "poopy head," is hardly what we'd call an important news item. But who are we to disagree with The BBC?
Now, don't get me wrong. We love the international press we've recieved. But unfortunately, things are not all daisies and twinkies here at Über HQ. All the press has had an inadvertent, negative effect -- and not just on our already massive egos. The problem is, Adam's original Google Bomb has been defused!
Searching for "talentless hack" on Google now returns a link to our own stupid Google Bombing article. I can only assume that the vast number of links to our page, in reference to the article and to Mr. Pressman's talentlessness have skewed Google's databases. It is now Über who is the Internet's #1 Talentless Hack. Our bomb has backfired or, I don't know, exploded in our own hands. The casualties of this explosion are too great to even consider.
This is a sad day, indeed.
It is already too late for us. But perhaps you can save dear old Adam Mathes. You see, he hates publicity. He wants to remain hidden and anonymous -- like a tiny protozoan adrift in the wide, salty sea. He, like most bald-faced, serious people, wants nothing but a peaceful environment in which to create his art.
So I ask, as a personal favor -- if you are a journalist who plans on writing yet another article on this subject: Don't. Instead, write an article on one of these other subjects which have not yet recieved enough press.
I hope that helps, young journalist. Personally, I think the last item is really the story. I mean, who knew? Wacky stuff! Wacky! There's so much wackyness, it just needs to be pointed out to the mainstream audience who thinks that the only thing on the web is good writing, installation art, and pr0n.
Ben Brown is saddened by the fact that he was never interviewed for any of these articles.