Five Head Pieces
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She was turned on by eunuchs' queues. She would watch that movie, The Last Emperor, every time it came on television. She didn't buy it or anything like that, but, say it was on TBS, and she happened upon it after it had already started- she would pick it up wherever and watch it through to the end.
She also liked men balding on the tops of their heads. Hair or no hair, but something to accent the head.
She once dated a guy who had a mohawk. She hated punk rock music, but went to the punk rock shows with him, not for him, but to see other hairstyles that drew attention to the top of the head. A roadway to the top middle of the head like the mohawk. Spiked hair all over a head to make the head seem inaccessible (although she just knew the spikey-boys weren't really inaccessible, they wanted lots of attention). Shaved heads to damn the man. Do it yourself, yeah.
Sometimes I think I see a halo over everyone's head. It's not really a lovely thing. It's more of a creepy thing when you think about it. Also, it just makes me want to see what I can throw through that hoop. Could a basketball fit in there? Why is a little kidís halo the same size as an adultís halo? Shouldnít it be smaller? A smaller target?
Maybe I could throw a golf ball through there, or a baseball? Maybe I can sling a dart right through that ring.
If I hit someone in the head with something, it's not that I meant to hit them, really. It's just that the hole was there, so I wanted to put something in there. Usually I'm not trying to fill up the hole/whole of the halo, I am just trying to score points by making the ring.
Cowboy hats block the formation of halos. Weird.
She went ahead and poured the water on her boyfriendís head, even though he'd asked her nicely not to. She would always say, "Hey, what if I poured this water (or soda or syrup, etc.) on your head? What would you do?"
He would always reply, "I'd do it right back to you." And then, "Hey, please don't do that shit, okay?"
This time it was, "What would you do if I poured this water on your head?"
This time it was, "Please don't, but you know what I'd do."
"And what's that?" as she took the plastic lid off the Subway cup full of ice water and dumped it on him in the middle of the yellow, chain, inexpensive, crowded, fast-food place. It didn't cost anything for water. The meatball sub was on special for $1.99.
"I can't believe you did that stupid ass shit," he said, with no oneís eyes on him but hers.
Again, "So what are you gonna do?"
He walked into the bathroom to get some paper towels to wipe off his head, and all they had was an electric hand drier. He punched the button and kneeled down in front of it.
She wrapped up the rest of her meatball 6 inch and walked on outside. Actually, she walked on to her car, got in, and left him drying in the bathroom. "Fuck you then," she said.
She gave this other guy a motorcycle helmet for his birthday. She said it would protect the important stuff in there if he fell. He reminded her that he didn't have a motorcycle. He reminded her how he felt about full body casts.
"What would happen if I fell of a motorcycle and broke all my bones except for my skull?" he said.
"You would still be able to think and know and understand why you like to kiss me."
He told her, "But I'd be useless, scarred all over. And you wouldn't want to kiss me."
"Thatís true. I wouldn't kiss you then, no. But, hey, what if an anvil was dropped on your head like in those cartoons while you were wearing that helmet? You'd be grateful for it then, right? It'd protect you."
He said that he doubted it. He also said that she was a superficial bitch who liked to drop things on people's heads.
"God likes to drop pianos," was all she said before she walked out. She let him keep that helmet.
My mother tells me over and over the same story about how when I was 4, I dragged my little brother, who was 1, off the bed. His head hit the floor while I still had my hands gripping his little ankle. He started crying and I just started laughing. She had been in the bed reading some magazine and didn't realize what I was doing to my little brother until it was too late.
When she tells the story and he's around, he'll claim that he remembered the happening. He'll say how my eyes looked crazy and how much it hurt and how long it hurt. I don't remember that. I think my mother made it all up to make up for some blockhead in her genetic pool, you know, thatís why my brother's head is so fucking flat now. He went into the Marines where they make you wear your hair in this crazy ass way that highlights his table head.
It's a great big target for some bomb. He shouldn't be in the military.
Dee Dee Peel is a head piece