Sick and tired of Dragon Tales
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I had to watch yet another episode of Dragon Tales this morning with my son. For those of you who don't know, this is a show where two kids, a brother and a sister, wish upon a dragon scale to transport to Dragonland where they have their many adventures. It goes like this...
"I wish, I wish with all my heart, To fly with dragons in a land apart"
It's not a bad show, but like other kids shows like Barney and Teletubbies, you get sick of it after a while. What I began to notice with Dragon Tales is that the kids, Emmy and Max have no life in their real world. You never see their parents or their friends. They never leave their rooms. They just spend all their time in Dragonland without developing proper social skills or even a remote sense of reality.
I emailed the producers to firmly state that I didn't like the way the show was headed and had serious doubts about how Emmy and Max will do in the real world, in a harsh society that that doesn't turn out magically well at the end of each day. In other words, these kids were terrible role models and I sent the producers some possible future episodes showing a quick glimpse of the kids' futures.
Emmy, age 15
Max, age 13
Max: Emmy, Mr. Kim asked us to get him some more Bear gall bladder.
Emmy: You mean so he can make more Chinese herbs?
Max: Yeah and he's going to pay us some more money so we can buy more toys!
Emmy: Cool, let's go to Dragonland and find some sleeping bears
Max: Yeah and Ord can help us.
Emmy: Don't forget the tranquilizer gun!
Max: Cool!
Max and Emmy: I wish, I wish with all my heart......
Emmy, age 16
Max, age 14
Max: Why are you crying Emmy?
Emmy: Max, I'm pregnant, what am I gonna do?
Max: What happened?
Emmy: Remember when I went over to Tyrone's house last month?
Max: Yowza! You got a special hug from Tyrone? The black guy? Boy, is
mom gonna be mad!
Emmy: What will I do?
Max: Maybe you should go hang out in Dragonland?
Emmy: Great idea Max, Quetzel will know what I should do."
Max and Emmy: I wish, I wish with all my heart......
Emmy, age 17
Max, age 15
Max: Emmy! Emmy! What am I gonna do?
Emmy: What is it Max? Calm down. What happened?
Max: I was playing over at Mr. William's house. We were all just having a
few drinks and cleaning our guns and...and I shot his driver.
Emmy: Oh my skittles! You killed him?
Max: Yeah. What am I gonna do now Emmy? I'm scared?
Emmy: Why don't you go hide out with your friends for a while?
Max: I don't have any friends! We don't have any friends remember!? All
we've ever done is play in our rooms and in Dragonland. We don't have any
sense of reality! While the other boys were out playing, I was eating
Dragon berries with Ord! I'm so scared! What do I do Emmy?
Emmy: Well...why don't you go hide out in Dragonland until all this blows
over?
Max: Cool idea! And I think they will be having the Dragon flower festival
tomorrow too!
Emmy: I'll come get you when things are cool and the cops stop buzzing
around!
Max: Thanks Emmy.....I wish, I wish with all my heart......
Well, that was basically my message. I'll report back to uber when I hear back from the producers.
Also, don't forget to have your toddlers check out next week's Teletubbies, when Tinky Winky flies all the way to San Francisco to marry his longtime tubbie partner.
Steve Park wishes, he wishes with all his heart....