The Innocence Project
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From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 10:21 AM
To: Laura B
Subject: vacation story
Did I ever tell you about the time I was in a hotel in NYC and from the hallway, you could see across to what I believe was another wing of the hotel. As we were walking down the hall, I noticed that I could see into a room through a window on that other wing, a few floors down. Some dude was laying on the bed naked watching TV. No clue that everyone 6 floors or higher in mid-town could see him in all his glory.
I kept walking out in the hall to see if he was still there. Generally, I don't need to see that kind of thing, but it was the novelty of it, you know?
I haven't been able to buy the incense I like. This girl I'm avoiding works at the only store that sells it around here.
From: Laura B
Sent: Thursday, 10:35 AM
To: Eric
Subject: vacation story
This is California, man, I can get innocence on the streets (at least on the Venice boardwalk). Although I never have. Maybe I'll look into it this weekend.
From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 10:48 AM
To: Laura B
Subject: vacation story
No wonder you moved there.
From: Laura B
Sent: Thursday, 11:07 AM
To: Eric
Subject: innocence
Wass'all with me and the bad spelling? I meant "incense," not "innocence."
From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 11:42 AM
To: Laura B
Subject: innocence
Here's how stupid I am: when you said "get innocence," I thought you meant "see naked people." Or "get naked." On the streets. And that you might give it a try this weekend. On the Venice Boardwalk. You can imagine my confusion.
From: Laura B
Sent: Thursday, 1:17 PM
To: Eric
Subject: innocence
In junior high, I was sitting by the pool with a boy I liked and I saw his innocence poke through his swim trunks.
From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 1:31 PM
To: Laura B
Subject: innocence
When you say it poked through - do you mean it peeked out the leg, or actually tore through the fabric?
From: Laura B
Sent: Thursday, 1:44 PM
To: Eric
Subject: innocence
Peeked through the leg - and I remember just staring and thinking "what the hell is that??"
I have so many stories like that!
From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 3:38 PM
To: Laura B
Subject: innocence
So many??
From: Laura B
Sent: Thursday, 4:01 PM
To: Eric
Subject: innocence
I've ridden the NYC subway many times - so yes, there's more. A lot more.
From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 1:49 PM
To: Laura B
Subject: innocence
One time a group of guys were sitting around, and this one guy's innocence slid out of the leg of his shorts. So, I said, "Hey, do you think it would be possible for MORE of your penis to be sticking out of your shorts?" His friend says, "Why were you looking at it?" My brother Ian says, "I think you saw it, too, but you didn't say anything because you didn't want him to put it away."
From: Laura B
Sent: Thursday, 2:24 PM
To: Eric
Subject: innocence
I have a friend who works at the Hollywood Bowl. When Bruce Springsteen was in town, he accidentally opened the door to the dressing room and saw the one guitar player's innocence. It's no wonder they call him Little Steven van Zandt.
From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 2:39 PM
To: Laura B
Subject: innocence
A few years ago, I parked my convertible in the driveway with the top down, and went inside to take a shower (or something). When I heard the rain start, I ran out, innocently enough, to put the top up.
From: Laura B
Sent: Thursday, 2:51 PM
To: Eric
Subject: innocence
For New Year's 2002, I took a spontaneous trip to visit some friends in San Diego. (This was about 5 days after my husband left me, although that has nothing to do with the story). My friend lent me one of her shirts to wear on the plane back to OH. Actually it wasn't really a shirt, it was more like a half shirt - the front half, plus two ties to go around the back. Pretty sexy, unless you're too wasted to tie it correctly. The morning I got on the plane to go home, I was, in fact, wasted and I did a half-assed job of tying the shirt.
When I went through security, the guy grinned, stared at my chest, and waved me through, no problems, no questions asked. This was a bit strange for me, since
1) no man ever looks at my chest and grins, and
2) ever since Sept 11, I had gotten stopped every time and "randomly" searched and questioned (despite my innocent appearance, no pun intended).
I looked down after I passed through security and realized that my left nipple was clearly visible peeking around one side of the shirt.
From: Eric
Sent: Thursday, 3:17 PM
To: Laura B
Subject: innocence
When I was in Puerto Rico on a mission trip, a bunch of us were at the beach, about chest deep in the water. For some reason I thought it would be funny to take my swimming suit off and swing it around over my head and throw it into the water. Pretty funny, no? It was funny until suddenly (and I don't know if it was the tide, or some kind of Divine intervention or what), the waves rolled back, and I found myself, innocent and ashamed, in ankle deep water.
You'd think I would learn not to keep my pants on, but I have to admit that it wasn't the last time.
Eric Wrisley shows his innocence to the Über audience.